In my last blog I mentioned that I was thinking of switching to the half marathon for this final race but my request to switch was denied. So I will be out running the full tomorrow. My achilles is feeling a bit better but I am still a little concerned about not getting in good long runs.
I took today off of work so I can relax and get stuff I need done before the race. I have a feeling that tomorrow afternoon I won't feel much like going grocery shopping and doing dishes and laundry and all the other normal weekend chores. As I was putting away my groceries this morning I couldn't help but notice my training calendar that has been hanging on the fridge door for about the past six months. There are only two things left tomorrow "Phoenix Marathon" and then Sunday "Rest".
That's it, that last week of a two page training schedule. Next to that is a sheet of my goal times for the three marathons as well as target paces for my training runs. I am left to reflect on the fact that my training has not gone according to my plan and my goal times have not been met. I've dealt with working long hours, injuries, weather, among other obstacles. For the past four months it seems at least one part of my body has been in some degree of pain. Yet for better or worse I have pressed on. I've pushed forward and I've learned that maybe I won't reach a PR this time around but I haven't given up. At times I have wanted to and at times I have become frustrated. I look back and wonder what I could have done differently, better nutrition, different shoes, different plan, every choice I made is questioned.
A year ago I lined up in downtown Phoenix to run my first marathon. I remember thinking that I was crazy, that I probably wouldn't make it. I remember how I felt when I got to mile 20 and both my mind and body wanted to quit all together. But I also remember how I felt as I was reduced to walking and then somewhere between mile 25 and 26 something deep inside me said that I could make it and I started running again. I remember running across the finish line and feeling like I had accomplished something great. Not running 26.2 miles but of overcoming the greatest obstacle of all...my own self doubt.
Tomorrow I will be lined up with about 2,000 other people on a road in east Mesa and and I imagine that I once again will feel unprepared and full of doubt. At 6:30am I will start my journey through the streets of Mesa. My goal is to finish, to enjoy it and to not worry about my time. Last summer I set a goal to run three marathons in 90 days. Tomorrow will be 89 days since I ran Tucson and as I cross the finish line I will have accomplished what I set out to do. Sure the other goals I set for my times aren't going to happen but I've learned that plans change.
Oprah once said that running is the perfect metaphor for life. It truly is, many times I have looked back at my life and become frustrated that things haven't gone as well as I planned. I've looked back over every choice and decision and questioned what I could have done differently. Just like in running my plans were changed because one circumstance or another. I've felt pain, I've gotten distracted and at times I've wanted to give up. So tomorrow I will put on my running shoes and push forward, running, walking, crawling if I must. And everyday in life I will do the same thing, just keep pushing forward, looking forward to the finish line but enjoying the race.
