The long weekend and the long run.

What a Thanksgiving weekend. I can't remember that last time I had four full days off for the Thanksgiving weekend, for that I am thankful.

On Thanksgiving I had the pleasure of running a 10K race in Mesa in the morning which for me is fun. My sister also ran the race which was awesome, her first race ever and she did great. The rest of the day was filled with food and family and was quite nice. That night I went over to Wal-Mart to experience a piece of Black Friday. I felt like one of those guys that goes outside to see a hurricane. I felt like I would have been safer somewhere else but watching the chaos was both exciting and scary.

Today my running schedule had me run a 20 miler. Now I don't have a fancy GPS watch that will tell me how far I have gone, what my pace is, and all that other stuff that would be great to know. I go old school. I map out my route using either Dailymile.com or Runnersworld.com (I guess that part isn't old school), then I head out with my stop watch. For most of my regular routes, I know where the mile marks are so I can figure my pace, but for my long runs it is more difficult. This weeks long run had me run along the canal for nearly 10 miles then loop around a neighborhood before heading back. I knew where most my mile marks were but not all.

As I reached my turn around point I had trouble remembering which street it was that I was suppose to loop around. I thought I had it but when the street didn't go the way I thought it was suppose to, I turned around and heading back. My problem then became, did I run too far or too little? As I approached what I knew was suppose to be mile 14, I realized I was behind my pace. I didn't know if it was because I went too far, or if I was just running too slow, so I did what anyone would do, I sped up. As I approached what I knew should have been mile 16, I was back to my goal pace and I kept it up from there. I actually finished a couple of minutes ahead of my goal pace but it was a struggle.

When I got home I looked at my route and realized I had gone further than I was suppose to. I mapped the route I took and discovered that instead of running 20 miles, I ran 20.65 miles, and at a pretty darn good pace. I have another 20 miler scheduled in a few weeks, next time I will not forget where to turn around.

I don't want this post to be too long but there is something I came across in my reading this week that I have been meaning to write about. I think I will add it in a seperate post. The more I try to figure it out the more complicated it becomes.

Today as I was running I was thinking about some of the pain that I have been feeling in my life. It was a beautiful morning and the more I thought, the more I wanted to run. Then the thought came to me...Am I running away from something, or am I running towards something? I don't know for sure, I just know I am running, and I know if makes me happy.

Official Press Release

First of all I want to thank those of you who are readers of my blog. I am amazed at the number of people who visit and share with me their comments. When I started this blog it began as something silly but has become something much more. For me it has become a way for me to express who I am and what I feel. Things I have never been comfortable sharing before. When I blog, I hope that those of you reading will be able to understand me and I hope that my words can add some value, or some insight that is useful. I am not looking to change the world, but only to change me. If that helps someone else, then I will be happy with that.

I HAVE SOME NEWS:

As many of you know, I enjoy running, and a little over a year ago I ran the San Francisco Half-Marathon. At the time the thought of running 13.1 miles through the streets of San Francisco seemed a challenge almost too much to accomplish for me. I took it on, and I completed my goal. Since that time I have had a desire to run a full marathon and have been training to do so.

I am pleased to announce that I have officially committed for the PF Chang Phoenix Marathon that will take place this January. My training has been going well and I look forward to completing the first of what I hope to be many marathons.

I know many people will question why a human would have the desire to pay money to run 26.2 miles, especially through the streets of Phoenix.

The reason, my reason, was summed up in the book 50/50 by Dean Karnazes, when he explained what it is that drives some people to run marathons. For me it isn’t about winning the race, it’s more about running the race. To me, this is the reason: “Crossing a marathon finish line for the first time is a life-changing moment. In doing it, you prove something to yourself that can never be taken away. You walk away with hard, experiential evidence that you are strong, resilient, and gutsy.” He continues, “Don’t we spend enough time of our lives doubting ourselves, thinking we are not good enough, not strong enough, not made of the right stuff? The marathon gives you an opportunity to tackle these doubts head-on.”

He goes on but I think you get the point. For me, a marathon will not be easy, I know that, and that is what drives me. My reason, or perhaps just one of my reasons, is to prove to myself that I am strong, not just physically but also mentally. To prove to myself that I am resilient and that I can push through the struggles, the hurt and the pain to reach my goal. My reason is to prove to myself that I can reach my goals, if I sacrifice, work hard and keep moving.

I use to think of running a marathon as something crazy, now it seems like the most sane thing I will ever do. Like many choices in my life, it is one I wish I had made long ago, but now is the time for me. I don’t expect to be the first to cross the finish line, but when I do cross the finish line I will be a winner. This marathon is a huge part of the growth that I am longing for in my life. I look forward to the challenge.
I thank all of you for your support and your encouragement. Not just in my running, but in my life. So many times I have thought it too tough to keep moving through life, but knowing that I have the support of so many people pushed me through. Thank you!

I chose to run

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. It's quite late right now and I am quite certain I should be asleep, but I felt the need to write tonight. I have had a lot on my mind this past week and tonight it seems I have even more. I decided this morning before I left for work that tonight I was going to clean and organize a little bit. As I was doing so I came across a "box of memories" if you will and I began to go through it.

Sometimes I feel like a young kid and other times I feel like an old man. As I looked through the items in this box, I was reminded of the good times as well as the bad. I have seen and done a lot of things in my life, some of which I am proud of, some of which I am not.

Let me tell you about my run on Friday night and maybe this will help explain just how I am feeling tonight. Some time ago I moved my runs (except my Sunday "long runs") to the evenings, which I really enjoy. I don't feel rushed and I don't have to get up at insane hours to get my run in before getting ready for work. Last Friday I was scheduled to run a "short" four mile run. On the way to work there was talk of a potential dust storm later that day, followed by much cooler and wetter weather. Sure enough as I walked out of work Friday, the sky was filled with dust and the wind was blowing hard.

I debated what I should do, should I skip my run or should I wait to see if the wind dies down before the rain comes? Should I try to run tomorrow knowing it can't rain all day? (Not in Arizona, at least). I decided against all that, I chose to run.

I got home and put on my shoes and headed out into the dust storm. After all, it was only four miles. As I started out the wind was at my back and I felt pretty good. Then as I turned a corner, the wind was blowing a bit to my side, still not much of a problem and I was feeling good. Then I turned another corner and now I was running more into the wind. Dust and leaves blowing into my face and then a women was walking down the middle of the sidewalk and didn't bother to ever look up from her texting as I had to swerve off the sidewalk. Suddenly my run wasn't feeling as good as normal.

I made another turn and now was running straight into the wind when a pickup truck decided that stop signs are merely suggestions, even when people are in the crosswalk. I really started to think..."this is a terrible run, I should have stayed home". I was not having the nice relaxing time I typically enjoy when running. Then a thought came to my mind...I chose to run.

I decided to look on the positive side. Running into the wind was making me a stronger runner. I could enjoy the benefit of the wind when it was at my back, and the wind was making it nice a cool for me. Just the thought that I had the ability to run, made me feel a little better. As I made it back home, I once again felt good about my run and felt good that I chose to run.

I've been thinking this past week about that run, and about life. There are many religious, spiritual, and philosophical beliefs on where we came from and I am not here to debate all that. What I do believe is that I chose to live and I know I continue to choose to live. Just like my run, sometimes it seems that I am going with the wind, sometimes against the wind. Sometimes I have to watch out for obstacles that come my way. All of the adversity is there and will make me stronger, I just need to chose to see it.

As I was looking through the memories of times gone by, I remembered a lot of times when it seemed the wind was with me, and a lot of times when it seemed I was running against the wind. I may have finished my four miles on Friday but I still have a long way to go in life. There were times on Friday that all I could do is put my head down and move my feet. Sometimes life is that way. I just need to remember, I chose to live and I choose to live. Someday I will finish this run and make it back "home" and I will be a better, stronger person for pushing through.