The First Step

It's been a while since my last post. No poems today, just the ramblings of my thoughts.

They say that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The saying is often used to encourage someone to begin a goal, to start moving forward. Some time back I made a goal that I wanted to run a marathon this year. I selected a marathon that will take place in Utah in June as my goal. I created a training plan that will lead me to the finish line. That training plan began this week. I have not yet officially signed up for the race but I have taken the first steps...literally.

As I was running last night I thought about the obstacles I would face in running a marathon, both the physical and mental obstacles of running a 26.2 mile race. I thought about my goal, which is to finish the marathon, not just get there. As I thought about it that saying I mentioned above came to mind and I realized something. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, it also ends with a single step. My goal will not be realized until I cross the finish line with one final stride. After I cross...I can collapse and not move again, but I have to step over the finish line. (Hopefully, I will still be able to move...though I suspect I will have some pain)

Then the saying of "Life is a marathon, not a sprint" came into my mind. When I ran the half-marathon last summer it was an awesome experience. If life is a marathon, than I ran half a life. I guess I got to the mid-life crisis point. It did feel a lot like life, there were times where I felt I could do it all, and others where I didn't think I could keep going. I remember thinking around mile 4 or 5 that I felt good and thought I could run a full marathon. Then by mile 11 I thought I couldn't make it.

It seems my life has been like that as well. There have been times where I feel like I am on top of the world and that I could accomplish anything. Then there are other times where I feel like I just can't go any further.

Crossing the finish line was such a thrill and I can't tell you the feelings that I felt. Sure I was exhausted and my legs hurt, but mentally and emotionally I was on top of the world. It was such a great feeling that it made me want to run another one. I have run plenty of shorter runs and the feeling of crossing that finish line just wasn't the same. There was something special about completing a longer run. A run where I had to push myself mentally, physically and emotionally. I had to keep going even when it seemed the race would never end.

This is where life is like a marathon. It's not quick, it's not easy. There are joys but there are also plenty of pains. On my journey through life I already began with a single step, just like in my quest to complete a marathon has already begun. But it is only the beginning. The journey does not end until I take that final step and cross that finish line and until then I have to keep pushing forward and working hard. Just as in life I have to push forward and work hard.

None of this probably makes any sense. Maybe I should stick to poems. What I am saying is this, there have been times in my life when I wanted to give up, quit, and just stop running. I haven't yet because I know there is plenty of race left to run. Just like running a half-marathon wasn't about coming in first, so is life. I don't need to come in first, I don't need to be better than others. I just need to keep running to prove to myself I can make it. And along the way I can take in the sights and enjoy the run, and I know that when I cross that finish line it will all be worth it.

Yesterday was a pretty rough day for me. I woke with the feeling that I should just go back to bed and stay there. I was stressed about work, about life and feeling pretty crabby. It was what I call a "Blah" day. I tried to not let it get me down but it was rough. Everything seemed to go down. When I got home I went for a run and I am glad that I did. It gave me time to forget all that and just be. As I went to bed last night I prayed that I would feel better. I had a very strange dream. I believe God can and does reveal things to me in my dreams. I know some people may think that weird but for me it works. (Besides if you believe in the Bible then you believe God speaks to people in dreams) Anyways, I interpreted my dream this morning and to put it simply, God message to me was basically not to sweat the small stuff, everything will be OK. I feel better today. Sure all the same problems are still there but it's better.

Until next time...