I chose to run

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. It's quite late right now and I am quite certain I should be asleep, but I felt the need to write tonight. I have had a lot on my mind this past week and tonight it seems I have even more. I decided this morning before I left for work that tonight I was going to clean and organize a little bit. As I was doing so I came across a "box of memories" if you will and I began to go through it.

Sometimes I feel like a young kid and other times I feel like an old man. As I looked through the items in this box, I was reminded of the good times as well as the bad. I have seen and done a lot of things in my life, some of which I am proud of, some of which I am not.

Let me tell you about my run on Friday night and maybe this will help explain just how I am feeling tonight. Some time ago I moved my runs (except my Sunday "long runs") to the evenings, which I really enjoy. I don't feel rushed and I don't have to get up at insane hours to get my run in before getting ready for work. Last Friday I was scheduled to run a "short" four mile run. On the way to work there was talk of a potential dust storm later that day, followed by much cooler and wetter weather. Sure enough as I walked out of work Friday, the sky was filled with dust and the wind was blowing hard.

I debated what I should do, should I skip my run or should I wait to see if the wind dies down before the rain comes? Should I try to run tomorrow knowing it can't rain all day? (Not in Arizona, at least). I decided against all that, I chose to run.

I got home and put on my shoes and headed out into the dust storm. After all, it was only four miles. As I started out the wind was at my back and I felt pretty good. Then as I turned a corner, the wind was blowing a bit to my side, still not much of a problem and I was feeling good. Then I turned another corner and now I was running more into the wind. Dust and leaves blowing into my face and then a women was walking down the middle of the sidewalk and didn't bother to ever look up from her texting as I had to swerve off the sidewalk. Suddenly my run wasn't feeling as good as normal.

I made another turn and now was running straight into the wind when a pickup truck decided that stop signs are merely suggestions, even when people are in the crosswalk. I really started to think..."this is a terrible run, I should have stayed home". I was not having the nice relaxing time I typically enjoy when running. Then a thought came to my mind...I chose to run.

I decided to look on the positive side. Running into the wind was making me a stronger runner. I could enjoy the benefit of the wind when it was at my back, and the wind was making it nice a cool for me. Just the thought that I had the ability to run, made me feel a little better. As I made it back home, I once again felt good about my run and felt good that I chose to run.

I've been thinking this past week about that run, and about life. There are many religious, spiritual, and philosophical beliefs on where we came from and I am not here to debate all that. What I do believe is that I chose to live and I know I continue to choose to live. Just like my run, sometimes it seems that I am going with the wind, sometimes against the wind. Sometimes I have to watch out for obstacles that come my way. All of the adversity is there and will make me stronger, I just need to chose to see it.

As I was looking through the memories of times gone by, I remembered a lot of times when it seemed the wind was with me, and a lot of times when it seemed I was running against the wind. I may have finished my four miles on Friday but I still have a long way to go in life. There were times on Friday that all I could do is put my head down and move my feet. Sometimes life is that way. I just need to remember, I chose to live and I choose to live. Someday I will finish this run and make it back "home" and I will be a better, stronger person for pushing through.