So I Think I Can Dance...

Those of you who know me, know I am a guy and I am white. Now when I say I am white, I mean I am white. If I were to run naked in the snow, you wouldn't see me. Not that you would want to see that anyways but it would be useful if running away from bad guys on a snow covered mountain. I am the kind of white you see in Idaho, land of my forefathers. (Word to the wise, if you ever go to a water park in Idaho, make sure you are wearing sunglasses. It's like snow skiing on a sunny day.)

If you have seen me dance before, you would hope to never see it again. I remember once going to a Scottish festival while I was living in Utah. Theresa and the kids were out of town, so I stayed all day watching the competition, eating food, and shopping the booths. I was really trying to feel connected to my Scottish ancestors. At night, they had a band play, they were called the Wicked Tinkers, if I remember correct. As they played, people began to dance. Never before had I seen such bad dancing and you couldn't say it was because everyone was drunk. We were in Utah, alcohol is outlawed. (Incidentally, according to an Internet site, you may be an alcoholic if you have ever, under the influence of alcohol, questioned the teachings of the Mormon church. Ask Michael Scott.) It was just the heritage of the people, it was my heritage. I felt a connection to my ancestors like never before. Sure the Scottish can't dance, but we can throw big rocks and logs, we don't need dancing.

Nevertheless, after 13 years of asking, I went dancing with Theresa. Yes, I went dancing. Dance class actually. To learn to swing. Honestly, it was a mistake. Theresa said something about swinging on Saturday night and naturally I said yes. J/K my friends, J/K.

It was a good time, I look forward to trying it again. I only learned the very basics but with a little practice...ok, a lot of practice, I can be the next Lord of the Dance. Maybe I can get my own reality show, or at least be on one. I don't know, something to think about.

Stay cool Arizona, Patterson, Out!