I am still alive.

Yes, I am still alive despite the fact that I haven't made a post in nearly two months. I know so many of you have been worried.

It is really hard to explain in a short blog everything that has been and still is going on within me. I haven't written in a long time but because of a dream I had several weeks ago I began to write some things down on paper. I have a large stack of paper with what in essence is the beginning of a journey.

I don't want to get into all the details of my life, many of you already know most of what has been going on, but I feel like for a long time I have been walking aimlessly through life. I am starting to feel like I am finding the right path for me, it seems it is just around the corner.

I have been doing a lot of reading, soul searching, and pondering on life's mysteries. I will tell you that I finished reading The Catcher in the Rye again, a book I love. I followed that up by reading Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl, another book I love. It was really interesting to read those two books together. In a strange way they almost go hand in hand.

I won't get into a book report here, I will save that for later, when time permits. Let's just say that one point in the Cather in the Rye when the main character, Holden, is talking with his sister and she is basically yelling at him saying that he doesn't like anything. When he tries to explain there are a few things he does like, she asks what it is he wants to do when he grows up. Then he decides he wants to be "the catcher in the rye". (If you want to know more about it, read the book) What he really is saying is that he wants his life to have a higher purpose and meaning than just being a teacher, or a lawyer or an accountant. This is something Victor Frankl talks about in his book in which he talks from an psycho-analytical perpective of his experiences in a concentration camp.

Anyways, that is the journey that I am working on, finding a purpose beyond just being an accountant. I guess in the spirit of the title of my blog, I am looking for more than just being a boy with a pencil. I am looking to fulfilling my dreams, and really discovering what I want those dreams to be. This is a process, and like I mentioned I have written a great deal down. I don't know what will become of those writings, it probably isn't something I will blog.

I guess we will see.